Fight For His Heart

Five Minute Friday is where gather with my sweet friends

to write our hearts on a page for 5 minutes prompted
by the friend who encourages us to write bravely - Lisa-Jo.

I love this community more than words can express. 
They are my people.
It's been awhile.
I've missed them.

Today is about FIGHT.

I've been thinking a lot about the prodigal son this week. Probably due to it being the lesson this week for the Bible study I am leading, but even more so because we have been living it out in our home. It's part of why I have been quiet here in this space. 

Several months ago our oldest son sat us down and told us that he didn't believe in God anymore. That he never really did and isn't saved. This came out of the mouth of the boy who brought his Bible to school for years, who earned the nickname "preacher" for telling others about Jesus, who talked about being a youth pastor. I think it might be the first time I was at a loss for words in conversation with one of my kids. He told us that he believes the Bible is just a collection of stories and more about why he came to this decision. In my head I just kept saying to myself, "Don't freak out. Don't freak out. He will stop talking if you freak out." So I listened. 
My only response that night was to tell him that I love him.
He went to bed soon after. 

D and I were in shock.
We talked and prayed late into the night knowing that we had begun to fight for the heart of our son in a way that we hadn't expected. It has been tough with him these past months. I would swear to you at times that a "pod person" (Invasion of the Body Snatchers reference) has replaced the son I know. He has been angry and hurtful. I have shed many tears and hit my knees often.

I want to be a good prodigal parent. One that loves him enough to let him go and also enough to be there to welcome him home again.
More than anything I want him to know that I will always fight for his heart. 
Always. No. Matter. What.
With open arms either way.

Blessings,

That Moment In Between

Five Minute Friday is where gather with my sweet friends

to write our hearts on a page for 5 minutes prompted
by the friend who encourages us to write bravely - Lisa-Jo.

I love this community more than words can express. 
They are my people.

Today is about IN BETWEEN.

I have spent all day wrapped up in our beautiful boys. Waking up early to start laundry and clean before they even roll out of bed. Watching them lumber into the living room much later with sleepy yawns and the "morning mom"s mumbled as they reach out for hugs without even thinking. Our day is filled with pool time or video games or grocery runs, but always with lots of talking and laughing. And so many times during the day I see you in our boys. In the way they smile. In something they say. In their laughs. In the way they hug as they pass me throughout the day. I so love this time with them. And I hold each moment close. Knowing how precious each one is. Counting. Thanking. Can I thank Him enough?

Then you are home. The door opens and we all seem to gravitate to welcome you. Everyone all talking at once. It's that moment in between where I actually catch myself switching from momma mode to wife mode. And before anything else, our eyes meet and my heart still skips a beat...every time. We kiss our hellos, you put your hands on my waist pulling me close,  and we make that connection again. We get back into the rhythm as your greet the boys and listen to their stories from the day sometimes with them speaking all at the same time. You look at me over their heads and give me a wink with a promise for later.

And I think...this.
I am thankful for this.

What are you thankful for today?

Blessings,

This Is The Place

Five Minute Friday is where gather with my sweet friends

to write our hearts on a page for 5 minutes prompted
by the friend who encourages us to write bravely - Lisa-Jo.

I love this community more than words can express. 
They are my people.

Today we write about VIEW.

This is the view from my Abba place. 
The place He calls me to when the sun bursts through the trees, 
the light breeze wafts warm, and the birds sing beautiful songs.
This is the place where He speaks words of love and grace to my heart.
This is the place where I reveal myself to Him holding nothing back.
This is the place where I give thanks for all He's given 
and I boldly ask for more of Him in everything.
This is the place where I not only offer my life to Him, 
but also the lives of my warrior and sons.
This is the place where I bare myself to Him heart and soul 
taking off all that hinders this closeness to Him.
He sees me here.
And I see Him.
In the flowers blooming with bright colors, 
in the birds soaring high above the trees, 
in the squirrels fearlessly jumping from limb to limb.
In my warrior working with his hands planting, watering, and growing 
both the garden of flowers and the garden of our sons. 
All of it pointing to Him.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with all He does in this place.
This place where I lift my hands and bend my knees. 
This place that is His. 
His and mine.

Do you have a special place where you meet Him?

Blessings,

He Speaks To Me

Five Minute Friday is where gather with my sweet friends
to write our hearts on a page for 5 minutes prompted
by the friend who encourages us to write bravely - Lisa-Jo.

I love this community more than words can express. 
They are my people.

Today is about SONG.

God often uses the lyrics of a song to speak to my heart.

Sometimes it is to reinforce scripture that I have been reading that day. 
Sometimes it coincides with a conversation that I had recently. 
Sometimes it is a word of encouragement for the day.
Sometimes it is about a prayer that I barely whispered to Him.

Some songs speak only in a moment and there are ones that don't let go of me. These songs that grab hold touch something to deep in me. These are usually the ones that bring me to a place of worship when I least expect it and most need it. This place where I lift hands and lower knees all to Him.
Sometimes they break apart the hard and turn me inside out. 
The tears come and I come undone.

This is one of those songs.



I will sing of your strength; 
I will sing aloud of your 
steadfast love in the morning. 
Psalm 59:16

What song is God using to speak to you?

Blessings,

Five Minute Friday - Love and Comfort

Five Minute Friday is where gather with my sweet friends
to write our hearts on a page for 5 minutes prompted
by the friend who encourages us to write bravely - Lisa-Jo.

I love this community more than words can express. 
They are my people.

Today is about COMFORT.


I can't remember a time in my life that you weren't there. 
We were more than cousins, raised more like brothers and sisters.

I remember our many moments shared. 
Sitting around the kid table at all of our family dinners
secretly longing for the day when we could sit
with the adults at their table and be part of their world. 
Playing bar in the basement and searching for treasure 
in the junk room at Grandma and Grandpa's house. 
Getting waterlogged in the pool wearing Grandpa's t-shirts 
while either trying to make it across the bridge of foam 
rafts or diving for black marbles in their pool.

So many of our memories take place there.
We loved spending time at their home.
Scattered around the country and growing in numbers, 
we began to marry and have children of our own.

We all found our way back there at one time or another over the years.

Sometimes separately and other times together.

Love and comfort were found there.

Then we all received the call that Grandpa had passed 

and we made our way to their house.

We came together in one place to share stories of him. 

I remember standing together, alternating between laughing and weeping 

as I listened to all of them, and reaching out to hold a hand as I told my own. Afterwards we couldn't stop telling the stories so we made our way

 to my apartment and continued our walk down memory lane. 

Sitting in a circle on the floor together, there was love and comfort.

Years later and much more life lived, we received the call that Grandma had passed and we found our way to each other again. We were once more asked to share memories and managed to find words to express how much we loved her and how she impacted our lives. We stood in front of all there and clung to each other's hands speaking of her. I remember that each one of us mentioned that she instilled in us that family is everything. We couldn't bear to separate just yet, so we went to have dinner. Gathered around a table together, there was love and comfort.

I know that no matter how far apart we may live our lives, 

we are and always will be deeply connected.

There is love and comfort there too.

Past the 5 minutes:

I have been thinking of and missing my Grandma this week. I know it's especially hard for my Mom as we celebrate moms and hers is absent from the celebration. Today I am praying comfort for all those motherless daughters like her. I am also praying for those childless mothers as I know that this is difficult for you as well.

God blesses those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

Blessings,

Be brave today, friend.

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word BRAVE here.




After a day filled with moments shared with some of the incredible 
women that God has placed in my life, I began to think about what 
a blessing it is to know and be known by them. 
Isn't that one of the things that we all long for? 
To be truly known.

To know means that we have to prioritize relationship over everything else.
To know means that we have to be willing to listen
once we have asked the tough questions.
To know means that we have to love no matter what. No. Matter. What.
To be known means that we bravely take off the mask and be transparent. 
To be known means that we have to stop saying we're fine when we aren't. 
To be known means that we have to share what 
we too often hide deep within our hearts.

That moment when we choose to come out from behind the masks and reveal ourselves...our true selves...can be scary. Frightening for some. Maybe most. Definitely for me. But the reward is so great. Greater than any fear holding you back from it.

You can be that person who shares those crazy thoughts that tumble out of your mouth at a pace that your expressive hands can't keep up with. 
You can say that sometimes you feel like you're failing at this momma thing and so many of the other thoughts and feelings that you couldn't possibly say out loud. Ever. 
But in this place you can and you do.

You can hear "me too" and "I totally get that." There are words of encouragement to be found in that place. There are hands to be held, shoulders to lean into, and hugs to be enveloped in. There are life stories to be told and miracles to be experienced. There is laughter shared that fills the room and tears that gather deep in your soul. There are prayers whispered and those that are boldly proclaimed. 
All in that place.

In that place that begins when we get real.
When we take off our masks.
Be brave today, friend.
Take it off.
Be you.



Blessings,

My Heart Bare

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word JUMP here.




No one really talks about how hard ministry can be. It's known, but unspoken. I am just as guilty of the silence. Sure, I am so quick to jump on here and tell you all the wonderful things about it. But to actually say that sometimes it's hard. And sometimes it hurts. And sometimes I want to quit. No, I just don't write it out loud. Maybe it's because the pretty part of ministry is easier to write. Maybe it's because in those hard moments when I doubt this dream and want to let go of it, I worry what you might think of me. Because I know what I think of myself and I don't know if I could bear you agreeing with me. Maybe I just couldn't bear seeing it in print. It's too much to put on a page. My heart bare. There for all to see. Transparent and glass-shatterable. So afraid of the breaking. To let down this mask and say today was a really rough day is like jumping off a cliff for me tonight. But I had to. Because today was hard and my heart hurts and I am truly at a loss for any other words than these.

Blessings,

You Meet Me Here

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word HERE here.



Oh how I love this place.
This time of the evening when everyone is tucked into bed and the house is quiet.
And You meet me here.
After all that goes on in the day, I come to You with everything.
Some days the only thing I can do is sit and absorb the silence.
Other days I come with prayers and can't stop the flow of words.
Prayers that I lift up to You.
Knowing that You hear each one even when I can't put them into words.
I know that I come to this place in the morning, 
but I long for these moments in the evening as well.
I just can't end the day any other way.
I come to You.
Sometimes so full of joy and sometimes broken.
But I know that You want me here no matter how I come.
It's overwhelming to think that You desire this time with me even more than I do.
This place is ours. Yours and mine.
Before I lay my head down, You speak to my heart.
You tell me You love me.
And there is peace.
Goodnight, Abba.

It is good to proclaim your unfailing love in the morning,
your faithfulness in the evening.
Psalm 92:2

How can I pray for you today, friend?

Blessings,

Lost & Found in Jesus

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word AFTER here.




Today was one of those conversations with my mentor that was both encouraging and challenging. After I got off the phone with her, I couldn't get one thing out of my head.

Am I pursuing ministry more than Jesus?

You see there are times that I get caught up in the "doing" and lose sight of the "why."
I could rattle off to you the many reasons that I do what I do, but it all comes down to one thing. The most important thing.

Jesus loves me and I love Him.

Everything that I do from mothering to ministry flows out of that love.
He has to come first in all of it.
And sometimes I fail.
I try to do it on my own, inviting Him into the place where I am 
when all along it's His invitation that I am responding to.
And then there's grace. 
He gently reminds me that it is only by Him, for Him, 
and through Him that any of it is possible.

I want to pursue Him above all.
To stop striving for anything more than Him.
To be so lost in Jesus that there is where I am found.
That is my prayer today.



Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.
Psalm 105:4

Blessings,

A Broken Jar Leaking Jesus

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word BROKEN here.



The story of the Samaritan woman at the well grabbed hold of me this week and has yet to let go. This woman who began her day as any other. More than likely she was shunned by others due to her many marriages, so she would go to the well when others weren't there. Hiding herself so she wouldn't be seen. And when she arrives, there is Jesus. He does something that has to shock her - asks her for a drink. She might've had to do a double take thinking He couldn't possibly be talking to her. 

Then He begins to share with her about quenching her thirst with living water. She was bold enough to ask questions of Him. Was it because she so longed not to be thirsty anymore? Knowing that nothing had filled her? Thinking that if she could be filled, she wouldn't have to come to that well anymore?

Then Jesus tells her about her life. He sees her. There was no judgement there. He knows. Acknowledging her. She pushed Him away with words of religion. He pulled her in with words of salvation. She had heard about the Messiah to come and He said "I am He." Imagine how overwhelming it must have been. Not only did this man speak to her when no one else would, but He saw her and knew her. There is something so powerful about being seen and known. This moment with Jesus changed everything.

She came for water and encountered Jesus.
Going into the town not even thinking of the mistreatment or judgement she could experience - that she had experienced. All she could do after meeting Jesus was tell everyone about Him and that they should come meet Him too.
She became a broken jar filled to overflow that leaked Jesus on everyone around her.
Her life the sermon.

Are you leaking Jesus on those around you?

Blessings,

I Want Them To Remember

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word REMEMBER here.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the legacy I want to leave for my sons. 
What do I want them to remember about me?

I want them to remember what my laugh sounded like and that I did it often even when things were hard...especially then.

I want them to remember the cuddles and kisses and whispered conversations when I tucked them in at night.

I want them to remember that whenever they were near I couldn't resist the chance to hug on them.

I want them to remember that I made mistakes and it was only in those mistakes that I truly learned what grace means.

I want them to remember that I listened and really heard their hearts even when they couldn't put it into words.

I want them to remember that I adored their daddy and that marriage isn't always easy, but is always a gift.

I want them to remember that I believed in miracles and that they are possible even in the every day moments.

I want them to remember that I was head over heels in love with Jesus which made loving them so much more.

I want them to remember that I loved.

That most of all.

What do you want your children to remember about you?

Blessings,

Take Care of You

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word REST here.




My dear sweet momma-friend...
can I speak something to your heart today?

It's ok to rest.

You have loved on and taken care of everyone in your life so well all week long.

You've gotten everyone off to school.
You've done lessons with your babes at home.
You've made beds, done laundry, shopped for groceries, cleaned house, made meals, helped with homework, taxied to dance class and ball practice, supervised bath time, read a bedtime story, and so much more each and every day this week.

It's more than ok to rest. You need to rest.
You need that time to recharge.

Momma...
one of the most important things you can do 
for your family is to take care of you.

So friend...
Take some time today for you.
Make a cup of something hot and frothy or cold and sweet.
Curl up on the couch and read a book.
Paint your nails.
Call a sister-friend.
Have a nap.
Sit outside on the porch and swing awhile.

You deserve it.
You need it.
Love on yourself a bit today, momma.

Blessings,

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word HOME here.




Home is so much more than the walls that surround me and the roof above me. 
Home is more about the people that fill my life. 

It is these four men both big and little who bring the overflow of love and laughter with each day. Moments cuddling on the couch and dancing in the living room. Sitting around the dinner table, heads bowed, thanking God for all our blessings. 

It is the nearness of my mother after many years separated. Sitting across the table from her and talking about our lives. Hearing her encouragement given from one mother to another. Being able to laugh with her again. 

It is gathering with women sharing our hearts with laughter and tears. Wanting to know God more and diving into His Word together. Longing to be the women, wives, and mothers that God has created them to be. 

It is sitting in a circle with a group of girls as they giggle and sharing Jesus with them. Listening to their hopes and dreams and their prayers offered with open hands and hearts.

It is a group of sisters never met in person but hearts knit together. Loving each other through words on a screen. Feeling less alone and lifting each other up to Him.

Home is where the heart is.
My heart is full and my cup overflows.

Every time I think of you, 
I give thanks to my God.
Philippians 1:3

Blessings,

My Ordinary Became Extraordinary

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word ORDINARY here.




It's in the midst of the ordinary, every day moments that I live a really big life. 
You see I am a wife and mother. 
There isn't a paycheck or a plaque on a wall that could give that justice. 

I serve my family out of a love so big. I make beds, clean house, do laundry, cook meals, and various other household duties. But that isn't what I will be remembered for by these men both big and little. It will be the moments when I listened to their dreams and said that they can do anything. It will be the moments when I wiped their tears and told them everything would be ok. It will be the moments when I hugged them and told them how much they are loved.

They will know that I have a relationship with God that made all of it possible. They will know that the love I have for them was an overflow of His love for me. That I am able to serve them with a big love because He showed me what love like that means.
They will know that my ordinary became extraordinary because of Him.

 We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19

Blessings,

Knowing She Believes In Me

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on What Mama Did here.

I remember all the times growing up that Mom would take me out for time that was just ours. It might be to lunch. It might be shopping for a new outfit. I loved these times with her. It made me feel so special. I had her full attention. 

We talked so much during these moments together. I would tell her about the latest happenings with my friends. I would tell her about the boy I had a crush on. I would talk about the latest book I was reading. I would share my dreams. And she listened. I knew she heard my heart. She offered words of encouragement constantly saying "I believe in you."

We went for a few years without that face time since she lived so far away. Oh how I missed that time with her. But God is so good. Recently she moved to be closer to us and we are dating each other once more. My heart spilling out all over again. Sharing my dreams. And hearing her say once again, "I believe in you."

What a precious gift these moments are 
and I will forever be grateful because she listens.
Knowing that she hears my heart.
Knowing she believes in me.

Here are a few more places I've shared my heart about my mom.

You Are Beautiful

The Answer To A 7 Year Prayer

Dear Me...A Letter To My Teenage Self

What sweet memories do you have of your mom?

Blessings,

He Showed Me Jesus

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word BELOVED here.




He came into my life when my heart was bruised and broken. Years before I had given my heart to a boy and said I do. This boy used his words and hands battering me body and soul. Something inside me had shattered during those years. 

Then I met him. He fought hard to break down the wall I had created to protect myself. No matter how hard I tried to push him away, he just never gave up. He taught me that there are words to be believed and that a touch can heal and not hurt. I fell in love with this man.

But the truth is that it wasn't until I fell head over heals in love with Jesus that I could allow myself to be loved by him. I just couldn't grasp that I was lovable. I had heard the words before. It wasn't until He showed me that I was worthy of love that I could begin to heal. To know that He was willing to be hung on a cross for me out of pure love.

I married this incredible man who loved me when I felt most unlovable. 
Who fought so hard to have me let him into my world. 

He showed me Jesus.

My beloved is mine, and I am his.
Song of Solomon 2:16

Blessings,