Through the Looking Glass

Sometimes attending a conference can overwhelm you with all the information shared there. You might not know which great idea to implement first or what change needs to happen right away. You attend main sessions and workshops where speakers pour into you. You have conversations with others in ministry who do what you do and close friends that speak into your life.

The Orange Conference was different for me this year. Instead of feeling like I was drinking from a fire hose, it felt more like taking a looking glass to my life. Much of it made me ask some really important questions about myself that will take some time to truly ponder.

One thing became very clear to me at a conference that's theme was focus. It clarified my passion - creating community, deepening relationships, and transparent conversations.

Because it happened at a children's ministry conference, does it only apply to my role as a volunteer in our children's ministry? I don't believe so. I think that it runs across the board in every area of my life - from being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and a volunteer.

Now ask me to explain what this looks like and I will tell you that I honestly don't know right now. I just know that this is what God spoke to my heart during the time I spent with Him at the conference. There is change coming - something new. I feel a bit restless and unsettled by it, yet hopeful and excited about all He has in store for me.

No one’s ever seen or heard or imagined anything like this. 

What God has arranged for those who love him. 

You’ve seen and heard it because God by his Spirit 
has brought it all out into the open before you. 

The Spirit dives into the depths of God 
and brings out what God planned all along. 

1 Corinthians 2:9-10

Blessings,

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word HOME here.




Home is so much more than the walls that surround me and the roof above me. 
Home is more about the people that fill my life. 

It is these four men both big and little who bring the overflow of love and laughter with each day. Moments cuddling on the couch and dancing in the living room. Sitting around the dinner table, heads bowed, thanking God for all our blessings. 

It is the nearness of my mother after many years separated. Sitting across the table from her and talking about our lives. Hearing her encouragement given from one mother to another. Being able to laugh with her again. 

It is gathering with women sharing our hearts with laughter and tears. Wanting to know God more and diving into His Word together. Longing to be the women, wives, and mothers that God has created them to be. 

It is sitting in a circle with a group of girls as they giggle and sharing Jesus with them. Listening to their hopes and dreams and their prayers offered with open hands and hearts.

It is a group of sisters never met in person but hearts knit together. Loving each other through words on a screen. Feeling less alone and lifting each other up to Him.

Home is where the heart is.
My heart is full and my cup overflows.

Every time I think of you, 
I give thanks to my God.
Philippians 1:3

Blessings,

Knowing She Believes In Me

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on What Mama Did here.

I remember all the times growing up that Mom would take me out for time that was just ours. It might be to lunch. It might be shopping for a new outfit. I loved these times with her. It made me feel so special. I had her full attention. 

We talked so much during these moments together. I would tell her about the latest happenings with my friends. I would tell her about the boy I had a crush on. I would talk about the latest book I was reading. I would share my dreams. And she listened. I knew she heard my heart. She offered words of encouragement constantly saying "I believe in you."

We went for a few years without that face time since she lived so far away. Oh how I missed that time with her. But God is so good. Recently she moved to be closer to us and we are dating each other once more. My heart spilling out all over again. Sharing my dreams. And hearing her say once again, "I believe in you."

What a precious gift these moments are 
and I will forever be grateful because she listens.
Knowing that she hears my heart.
Knowing she believes in me.

Here are a few more places I've shared my heart about my mom.

You Are Beautiful

The Answer To A 7 Year Prayer

Dear Me...A Letter To My Teenage Self

What sweet memories do you have of your mom?

Blessings,

You Are Beautiful

She brushes my hair.
My Mom. 

She isn't making me beautiful.

She is making me feel beautiful.

Through her loving gaze and tender hands,

she is telling me over and over...

You are beautiful.

With each stroke of the brush I am reminded of all the past times 
she went out of her way to make me feel beautiful.

Doing my hair for homecomings and proms.

Taking me shopping for the perfect wedding dress.

Giving me a lovely nightgown each time my babies were born.

She brushes my hair.
I remember the words without words.

You are beautiful, my daughter.

Over and over.

How has your mom spoken to your heart?

Blessings,

Joining my sweet friend, Emily, at her place today.



My Cup Overflows

As I sit this evening reflecting on our Christmas this year, 

I am overwhelmed at how incredibly blessed I am.

This is my 20th Christmas with my warrior.

What a gift he is.

Each day with my sons is a treasure. 

I am so very proud to be their Momma.

For the first time in seven years, we celebrated Christmas with my Mom 

who recently moved here to be closer to us.

To say that the boys are thrilled would be an understatement. It has been so wonderful to see them fall deeper in love with each other.

And I have one of my best friends only five minutes away from me.

But God didn't stop there. 

He also brought my Aunt and Uncle here to visit.

Next to my Mom, my Aunt is one of the most influential women in my life.

Tonight I am so thankful for the gift of family.

The laughter a little louder.

The hugs a little tighter.

The love a little bigger.

Each moment shared is etched on my heart.

A gift beyond measure.

My cup overflows.

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. 

Let the whole world know what he has done.

Psalm 105:1

What are you thankful for today?

Awe and Wonder

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word WONDER here.




I am sitting here tonight in complete awe and wonder of how God answered 
the prayer that I have been praying for 7 years.
My mom is across the room sleeping and I just can't 
get over that God has brought her here to live near us.
For the past week I have been helping her pack up her belongings while I unpacked many memories shared in the home she was leaving to come here.
Times she helped me to get ready for prom and graduation.
Times she taught my sons to swim in her pool.
Times we shared family meals gathered around her table 
that now sits in a new place.
The place that He has brought her to and all the promises 
given by Him of new memories to make.
I just can't even put all that I feel into words tonight.
I watched my sons gather around her in welcome tonight with tears overflowing.
Knowing that my prayer wasn't just for me, but for all of us.
I am just so grateful for my God.
I am just so thankful for an answered prayer.

I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor
    and your wonderful miracles.
Psalm 145:5

Like a Cupcake

One day my mentor asked me a question that caught me off guard. 

She asked "Who are you?" My immediate answer was "I'm a wife and momma." 

She asked it again this way, "Who are you first?" I, of course, realized that I hadn't really thought about it that way and answered " I am a child of God." 

 

For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:26

 

The more I thought it about it after our conversation that day, 

I had the thought that who I am is a lot like a cupcake.

 

The cake part is the base of the cupcake. 

Being a child of God is my foundation. 

The icing on top of the cake makes the cake even sweeter. 

Being a wife and momma is like that - sweet.

Then there's the sprinkles. 

For me the sprinkles are the extra blessings like 

serving in children's ministry and leading a Bible study for mommas.

 

Makes me look at who I am in a whole new way today. 

Do you know who you are first? 

Have a cupcake and take some time to think about it.



The First - Eve

Adam named his wife Eve, because she

would become the mother of all the living.

Genesis 3:20 

I am fascinated by Eve. Not so much about the whole "hey let's take a bite of this apple" part of her life, but by the fact that she was the first...not only the first woman, but also the very first wife and mother.

She was created as a woman, so she didn't have a childhood or teenage years. She was created as a wife, so she didn't have a time of dating or an actual wedding. She was the mother of all living and went through pregnancy and childbirth without a mother or any other female support. There weren't any how to be a better wife and mother books, no tv shows with advice on raising children and how to better communicate with your husband.

She depended on God completely. While she lived in Eden she had community with Him that we can't fully experience today. She talked with Him there. She lived with Him there. She knew great joy and no sadness in that sinless world.

Then with one bite all of that went away and she was cast out. Oh how she must have mourned that loss. Today we can't imagine what that loss must have been like for her since we only know what it has been like since "the fall." But even then she relied on God for strength and provision. She knew that He had blessed her with children. She was able to deal with the loss of her sons through Him. She still had a relationship with her Father.

She wasn't just the first woman, wife, and mother. She was also the first redeemed. Even though she sinned and suffered consequences for those sins, God loved her and forgave her. He made a blood sacrifice for her which would be the first glimpse we would see in the ultimate plan of the sacrifice of His Son for us many years later.

There is so much more to be learned from Eve.

More than the choice to sin.

The choice to rely on our Father.

How does Eve's story speak to you?

The Answer to a 7 Year Prayer

Seven years ago this month we were displaced from our home due to a hurricane named Wilma. We made the decision to move back to Tennessee.

The hardest part for me was leaving my mom.

My mom and I are very close. She is one of my best friends. While living in Florida, we spent a lot of time together as we were only separated by a few miles. 

Moving so far away meant that wouldn't be possible anymore.

Our first Christmas here was the worst for me.

I was lonely for her and spent much of the holiday season in tears.

I began to take my hurt heart to God in prayer during this time. 

"Abba..." 

I asked for what I thought to be the impossible on a regular basis

...for my mom to move here to be with us.

Pray about everything. 

With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

For seven years I prayed this one prayer.

Sometimes the prayer was in conversation, but other times it was a wail from deep within. Sometimes I couldn't even get the words out because it hurt so much.

When we don’t know what to pray for, 

the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words.

Romans 8:26b

There were days that I wondered if my prayer was heard

 and other times I knew He was listening. 

I kept praying that one prayer. 

"Abba may I have her with me?"

There were times I begged, times I raged, and most times I wept. 

But I kept bringing this one prayer to Him through it all.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: 

that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

1 John 5:14 

A couple of months ago the answer to this seven year prayer began to happen. 

My mom called to let me know that she had made the decision to sell her house and move to Tennessee to be with us.

"Abba could this please be happening?"

Within a few weeks her house was sold and the plans were taking shape.

Jesus looked at them and said, 

“With man this is impossible, but not with God; 

all things are possible with God.”

Mark 10:27 

In a few weeks I will be travelling to Florida to bring my mom home with me.

Let me just write that again...

In a few weeks I will be travelling to Florida to bring my mom home with me.

I don't tell you this story to share the power of my prayer. 

No. 

I tell you to share the power of my Abba who answered my prayer.

He heard every word of every prayer for the last seven years.

He bent down to listen to them. 

Because he bends down to listen,

I will pray as long as I have breath!

Psalm 116:2

I share this with you to encourage you to keep praying that prayer.

Your prayer.

Never. Stop. Praying.

Always be joyful and never stop praying. 

Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. 

This is what God wants you to do.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Today I am thankful for the answer to a seven year prayer.

"Oh Abba...thank you. Thank you. Thank you." 

Grasping for Time

Today I am joining Lisa-Jo and friends for Five Minute Friday.

This is where we come together writing for 5 minutes without editing or overthinking.

I love this community.

Check out what everyone's is sharing on the word GRASP here.




It's passing so quickly and I can't seem to get a grasp on it.
Time.
Sometimes it feels like I am constantly running after it and just can't catch up.

I have felt like that recently with my oldest son.
He just turned 16 and there are so many changes happening with him.
Drivers license. First job.
Talking about college.
It's too fast. Time.
I just need it to slow down for a minute to I can catch my breath.
It is the beginning of a new season for him and I wasn't ready for it.

Tears formed one night when talking with him about college.
He was so concerned and asked why I was crying.
I explained that it just seems like yesterday that I was rocking 
him to sleep and here we are talking about him going off to college.
I told him how very proud I am of the young man he has become.
That he loves God so much.
That he loves the people around him so fiercely.
That he is dreaming big huge dreams.

But I am trying to grasp the time and freeze it just this once.
My baby is growing up.
Too fast.
For me but not for him.
He is ready to spread his wings and begin to fly.
Not far at first.
But ready nonetheless.
Now I just have to let go and let him soar.

Oh my heart.

May our sons flourish in their youth
    like well-nurtured plants.
Psalm 144:12a

Dear Me... A Letter to My Teenage Self

Hey girl...

It's me. You, almost 30 years later.

You're 15 and have just had your entire world turned upside down.

Mom and Dad are divorced, both have remarried, 

and you have left everyone and everything 

you have ever known to live in Florida.

All within this last year.

Your heart is broken in tiny pieces right now 

and you believe that your life will never be the same.

I so wish that I could hold your hand and tell you that everything will be ok. 

I would hug you while you cried it out feeling so alone. 

I would tell you that you aren't alone...He is with you. 

And even though things will be so tough for you in the next few years, 

He will bring you through it all.

About Dad...

Your heart broke the day he left and will shatter again many times over the next 30 years. You will spend many moments wondering why and how and - worst of all - these questions will cause you to doubt your worth for many years.

One day you will read this verse and be undone...

Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you. 
Isaiah 43:4

You will realize that you are precious, honored, and loved beyond imagination 

by our Abba that gave everything in exchange for you.

About Mom...

Things are rocky with you all right now. You are lost, but she will never stop reaching out to you. She will fiercely fight for your heart and remind you constantly just how much she loves you. There are going to be times you can't hear her. Times you don't want to hear her. But you will remember everything even when she doesn't.

You will learn how to love a child unconditionally through her actions during this time. She will help to shape the mother you are to become years from now.
She will be your best friend.

About friends...

One of the hardest things you had to do this year was leave behind your best friends. The three of you were inseparable, spending every possible moment together. You have stood on a bed and sung Prince songs at the top of your lungs with them. You have spent many a sleepover night laughing so hard your face and stomach hurt. You have gone to parties and dances with them. You have walked just down the road to your second home so many times. They have cheered you on and wiped your tears. You tell them everything. They know you best. And you can't imagine life without seeing them every day.

You will flow in and out of each others lives over the years, but you are all still friends.

Even from a distance and over many years, God has knit your hearts together. 

They will be your forever friends.

But God didn't stop there. He blesses you with many special people that will come into your life. Some of those friends will be forever and some will only be for a season, but all will touch your heart.

About love...

You have trouble believing that anyone could love you right now. You will start a journey this year searching for someone to fill that space in your heart. It won't be until years later that you will meet the love of your life. 

You will only date for six months before getting married. Crazy I know. 

This is you on your wedding day.

He will show you what love looks like and what it means to be cherished. 

You will walk through tough times and celebrate the wonderful times together.

This is him saying his vows to you on your wedding day.

But God didn't stop there. He also gave you beautiful baby boys. 

Three of them. You will love them the moment they enter the world and your heart will burst the first time you hold each of them in your arms.

Here they are as tinies.

You will be a wife and a mom.

You will have a family.

Here are the men in your life today.

I guess most of all, sweet girl, I want you to know that you are so loved and never alone. I want you to know that one of the best things to ever happen to you won't be about marriage, motherhood, or a career. There will be a moment when you meet Jesus again. I know you grew up in church and got saved at a young age. 

This isn't about your salvation, but about a relationship.

This time will be different and will rock your world. You will surrender to Him and begin a love affair with Him that will change everything. No it won't be easy all the time, but I promise you that it will be easier walking with Him than all those years you walked without Him.

You are still a work in progress girl.

But along the way He has put all those broken pieces of your heart back together. You still have some scars, but even those have become beautiful through Him.

You have a story. What you will come to realize is that your story is actually His story. A story of overflowing love, never-ending grace, and sweet redemption.

Be brave sweet girl.

Love,

Me

I am joining Emily Freeman and friends in writing letters to our teenage selves. 

We are celebrating the release of Emily's newest book - Graceful.