I Lift A Prayer For Her

So it's been awhile since I've written as life has kept my busy and a little silent these days. I was reading an article on the latest scandal in the NFL involving the football player captured on video abusing his wife. In the article it said domestic violence is BACK in the news and I thought to myself, "Has it ever really left the news?" 

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women have experienced physical violence by an intimate partner. That could mean if you are standing in between two other women that one of you has experienced this abuse firsthand. 

This football player's wife is on my mind tonight. As I listen and read many wondering why she stayed with him and some going even further to play the blame game, I remember that I was her years ago in another lifetime it seems. Let me tell you a little about that time.

First let me say that I was that woman that believed and many times verbalized that I would NEVER put up with a man who would abuse me. I was 19, just out of school, and fell in love with a boy. I can still remember the shock of when he hit me the first time. And yes it was a few months before I married him. I just cried and he apologized saying it would never happen again. I believed him. Why wouldn't I? He loved me, right? I mean we're getting ready to stand at an altar and pledge our love to each other. It couldn't possibly happen again. I had to believe that.

I was wrong. I won't go into details except to say that for a year and a half I lived a nightmare. I stayed and at some point believed that I deserved all of it. Once you hear something so often, you can mistakenly let it into your head and heart. I hid it from everyone until no one could ignore the hospital visits including many injuries and a miscarriage. I still went back. You know what finally made me leave? Looking into the monster's face as he held me by the throat and told me that he could kill me. I believed that. 

It was then that I reached out to family and friends and fled that life. I hid at a friend's house until I could get a flight to my mom's. He didn't give me up immediately though. He stalked, called, and finally after two more years he signed the divorce papers and I was free.

I wasn't really though. It has taken many years and it is only by God's grace that my heart is whole again. I have a good man in my life now.

But I remember her. That young girl who believed. That young girl who lived in that space thinking it was exactly what she deserved and was so ashamed. That girl who was so broken.

That's why tonight I think of his wife.

And I lift a prayer for her.

Won't you join me?

Blessings,

Worth the Rescue

There have been times in my life when I felt alone. Never more so than during my first marriage. During that time I not only felt that God was far, but I believed with everything in me that He was punishing me through the cruel words and hands of my husband. Even though I had been saved at a young age, later in life I lived as the prodigal daughter. I made wrong choices and lived with those consequences. I believed that this abusive marriage was one of those consequences.

If you would have met me before this time in my life, you couldn't imagine that I would take the abuse. I was strong, bold, and independent. Something happened to me the first time I took a punch from this man that stood in church and promised to love, honor, and cherish me. Something happened to me the first time he told me that I pushed his buttons and made him do it. Part of me began to believe that I deserved it. I also believed him those first few months when he said that he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. 

I lost myself in this world where I didn't matter and my heart shattered. I stopped praying for God to rescue me. Instead I just prayed that these nightmare moments wouldn't last long. When those prayers didn't get answered, I stopped praying altogether. I began to accept that this was going to be my life.

I was alone. I couldn't share with my family and friends what was happening. Not even when I was in the hospital with injuries would I admit this nightmare that I existed within. I became good at hiding bruises and making excuses for injuries. There was always the lingering threat that if I ever told anyone or tried to leave that my life would cease at his hand. 

It all changed a few years later when this man told me with hands around my throat that he could kill me and get away with it. I knew he meant it. I knew he was capable of it. And in that very moment I knew that I wanted to live. I wanted to live a different life. One where I mattered. One where I wasn't scared. And I began to pray again. I cried out to Him with every part of me.

My God did rescue me from that place. But there is so much more in the rescue that just that. He has been healing what was broken and damaged in me. It isn't an easy road and doesn't happen overnight. It has taken years and there are scars. But somehow those scars don't remind me of the nightmare, but instead remind me that I was worth the rescue.

Years later God brought D into my life and we have been married for over twenty years now. Some might say (and have) that I will be punished for divorcing my first husband and remarrying. But I don't believe in that God they speak of. The one who punishes. Not anymore. That's not my God. He rescues and heals and loves beyond measure. That's my God. I am living proof.

I trust in your unfailing love.

I will rejoice because you have rescued me.

Psalm 13:5

What had God rescued you from?

Blessings,

Women Redeemed Live Webcast

Women sharing their struggles, fears and hope!




{Live Webcast Event}

In coordination with the launch of their fall releases, Kregel Publications will be hosting a live webcast event on September 20th at 8 PM EDT featuring authors Kim Ketola (Cradle My Heart), Teske Drake (Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow), and Dawn Scott Jones (When a Woman You Love Was Abused).

The webcast will allow women to come together to share their struggles and fears in order to move toward healing and hope. Women will able to support one another and discuss shared experiences (abortion, miscarriage and abuse) in a non-threatening, open and loving environment.

Cat Hoort of Kregel says, “We are seeking to provide safe means for Christian women to be vulnerable with each other, to seek help and guidance from authors and counselors, and to find encouragement from those who have shared similar experiences. Our hope is that the Women Redeemed webcast will become a forum for hurting women as well as for those who can help. Kim, Teske, and Dawn are all survivors and their stories will surely inspire and equip other women to move toward healing and hope.”

Please join tonight’s webcast and connect with the authors, talk about your own experiences, make some new friends, and win a prize! Hope to see you there!

To register for the event, just click the banner to the right or here.