Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Worth the Rescue



There have been times in my life when I felt alone. Never more so than during my first marriage. During that time I not only felt that God was far, but I believed with everything in me that He was punishing me through the cruel words and hands of my husband. Even though I had been saved at a young age, later in life I lived as the prodigal daughter. I made wrong choices and lived with those consequences. I believed that this abusive marriage was one of those consequences.

If you would have met me before this time in my life, you couldn't imagine that I would take the abuse. I was strong, bold, and independent. Something happened to me the first time I took a punch from this man that stood in church and promised to love, honor, and cherish me. Something happened to me the first time he told me that I pushed his buttons and made him do it. Part of me began to believe that I deserved it. I also believed him those first few months when he said that he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. 

I lost myself in this world where I didn't matter and my heart shattered. I stopped praying for God to rescue me. Instead I just prayed that these nightmare moments wouldn't last long. When those prayers didn't get answered, I stopped praying altogether. I began to accept that this was going to be my life.

I was alone. I couldn't share with my family and friends what was happening. Not even when I was in the hospital with injuries would I admit this nightmare that I existed within. I became good at hiding bruises and making excuses for injuries. There was always the lingering threat that if I ever told anyone or tried to leave that my life would cease at his hand. 

It all changed a few years later when this man told me with hands around my throat that he could kill me and get away with it. I knew he meant it. I knew he was capable of it. And in that very moment I knew that I wanted to live. I wanted to live a different life. One where I mattered. One where I wasn't scared. And I began to pray again. I cried out to Him with every part of me.

My God did rescue me from that place. But there is so much more in the rescue that just that. He has been healing what was broken and damaged in me. It isn't an easy road and doesn't happen overnight. It has taken years and there are scars. But somehow those scars don't remind me of the nightmare, but instead remind me that I was worth the rescue.

Years later God brought D into my life and we have been married for over twenty years now. Some might say (and have) that I will be punished for divorcing my first husband and remarrying. But I don't believe in that God they speak of. The one who punishes. Not anymore. That's not my God. He rescues and heals and loves beyond measure. That's my God. I am living proof.

I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
Psalm 13:5

What had God rescued you from?

Blessings,

49 comments:

  1. Wendy - you are brave and honest and yet graceful and loving and sincere in your words. I'd love to give you a big ole hug right now. I'm not sure you realize just how huge a presence you have - both in the physical world of people around you and in your online world. You reach out and bless so many. i hope that as you give of yourself you are blessed mightily. You have so much to share - i'm so grateful to 'know' you.

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    1. Friend...you have blessed me so with your sweet words of encouragement today. What a gift you are. Thank you. Love & hugs!

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  2. Wonderful post, Wendy. I will share it.

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    1. Thank you so much Jeanne. Praying that it speaks to hearts as you share it. Blessings.

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  3. Wendy, Thank you. Thank you for every word of your story you so beautifully shared here. This is so powerful, girl. Just amazing. You rise up, claiming the love of our amazing God of ours--our Father who unabashedly rescues and who does condemn. No, He does not condemn you, sister. I wanted to give you the biggest hug right now. I am a woman--His girl--who knows what it means to be rescued. He rescued me, and continues to rescue me--from pride that robbed me of joy and that led me to think I was more important than anything, including the life of the baby inside of me. These words never get easier to say, never get easier to write here . . And I am glad of that. Because it reminds me who I am without Christ. Oh, He rescues--with love and grace and mercy and kindness. I am so thankful for your beautiful, brave, bold heart, sweet friend.

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    1. Jennifer you know how much I just love you and cherish your friendship. Thank you. Thank you.

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  4. Wendy, thank you for this post. Yes, He is a God who rescues and would do it over and over and over again. My God rescued me from giving my body to men in order to receive affirmation and what I thought was love, and today He continues to rescue me from the thought that I am worthless, no good and dirty. Your heart is beautiful and I love sharing life with you!

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    1. Oh sweet friend how I long to hug you proper one day. I am so very thankful that you're in my life and so blessed by your friendship. Blessings and much love.

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  5. What a post! Your vulnerability takes my breath away! I am thankful that God rescued you, and that you can share this story with others who are hurting.

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    1. Thank you so much sweet sister. Love you much. Blessings.

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  6. What a great read you just gave us! Thank you and be blessed:)

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  7. ((hugs)) You are a very brave woman for a multitude of reasons! This post being one of them.

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    1. Hugging you right back friend. So thankful for you. Blessings.

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  8. Thank you, Saved Sister. This is beautiful. Your words are full of courage and love.

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    1. Thank you so much Tereasa. So appreciate you. Blessings.

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  9. Wendy! You are letting Him shine through you, and that is blessing so many. I am rejoicing at how he rescued you and redeemed your story. Thank you for your courage in sharing it. Xoxoxo

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    1. From one brave sister to another...so love you. It is such a blessing to be walking with you friend. Over the top blessing. Thank you.

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  10. HUGS!!! And thank you for sharing this. For your painful and vulnerable, yet courageous and redeeming message of God's amazing love! I mean it, big hugs! Thank you!

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    1. Oh Heather...hugging you right back. So thankful for your encouragement and prayers friend. Blessings.

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    1. Can't even tell you just how blessed I am by you friend. Love you much. Blessings.

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  12. I mean it...I wish you could come over for a long visit and proper hug!

    "I was worth the rescue."...I hope you stand in front of the mirror, friend, and repeat that until it glows on your beautiful face. Because this is how He wants you to shine. share. show His goodness.
    He IS Good. All the time. This I believe.
    and, friend, you are good, too. a living example of what redemption is capable of.
    so proud to call you friend.

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    1. You are such a gift to me sweet friend. I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me and what an answered prayer you are. It is beyond words for me today. I look forward to the day we will hug proper and spend some time together over a cup. You are loved much.

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  13. "But somehow those scars don't remind me of the nightmare, but instead remind me that I was worth the rescue." - Oh sweet friend - how beautiful you are and these words, these words they are used by God to heal broken places in others - you are such a gift and you have blessed me beyond words.

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    1. Thank you so much for your sweet words friend. I am praying that hearts are touched and the God that rescues gets glory from my story. I want every bit of it to point to Him. Blessings.

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  14. My heart breaks knowing that you went through such pain. I wish your words could find their way to every woman in an abusive marriage or relationship. You offer hope. I pray that your words give at least one person the courage to get help today. Praying earnestly for that, right now.

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    1. Oh Jennifer that is my prayer. That others would know that He can rescue them from anything. Joining you in that prayer friend. Blessings.

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  15. Oh sweet Wendy... how you refresh and hold close... how you are brave (or not - but do it anyway!)... how precious is the power of your testimony! I am so thankful for His great love for you... for me... I am so grateful that not only did He make a way of escape for you - but He also provided a better example of His Love to you in the flesh as well. As I was reading this post, Rita Springers' song "Worth It All" kept playing in the back of my mind! I think I better go crank that up and worship awhile now! Bless you, sweet sister! (Insert 'proper hug' here too!)

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    1. Oh friend...can't wait for the day we are face to face and I get to hug you! This song...brought to tears. Thank you so much. For your friendship, your kind words...so much. Love you much.

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  16. Wendy, how brave you are! So many women are going to be blessed through your words. You have a story women need to hear over and over again. Tgank you for the courage to share. Many hugs to you!!

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    1. Hugs to you friend! Thank you. Praying it touches many hearts...the story of my Rescuer...my Redeemer. Blessings!

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  17. Sharing this will touch many
    seeing what God can and does do with broken pieces
    creating beauty from your ashes, bringing glory to His name

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    1. Oh yes...how wonderful He is! All Glory to Him! Blessings.

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  18. "He rescues and heals and loves beyond measure. That's my God. I am living proof."

    SO very, very true, and so, so sorry that you had to go through that. While I never had to endure physical abuse, I had to file for divorce last year after my husband of 16 years was unfaithful and walked out the door (for the 3rd time). I've learned over the past year that,though divorce always involves sin, it doesn't always involve the sin of BOTH parties. I'm so grateful for a church that teaches the truth about divorce and offers support for those who have no choice but to end a relationship that has been irreparably broken.

    Also so grateful that He replaces all that has been lost with things that are much, much better. Sometimes when you least expect it and are in no way, shape, or form looking for it. He always knows what He is doing, even when we don't.

    Thank you for being brave enough to share.

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    1. Thank you so much friend. So sorry for the pain you endured. Praying that He blesses you beyond imagination.

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  19. Wendy, thank you for you brave heart in sharing. I know your words will find there way to those who truly need to hear them. You are an inspiration. God will use your story to touch many lives! Much love to you my friend.

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    1. Oh Beth...love you right back. Thank you so much. Blessings.

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  20. I am divorced and remarried, too, only my first husband wasn't abusive. Over the years, I've come to understand just how responsible I was for the demise of my first marriage. God has forgiven me. I don't allow anyone who would suggest otherwise to speak into my life. Coming to you via IP. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. So thankful for His grace and forgiveness. Thank you so much. Blessings.

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  21. Wendy,
    You were so worth the rescue.

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    1. Oh Kathi...thank you. Blessings to you friend.

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  22. a beautiful story. thank you for sharing it.

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    1. Thank you so much Leanne. Blessings.

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  23. Wendy,
    Amen. You have a calling to share your story. You can't know whom it might touch, move, or save.
    Bless you, in Jesus' name. I am proud to call you sister.
    Peace and good,
    Chelle

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    1. Sweet Chelle...every time you reply here, I am reminded...BELOVED. Thank you so much friend. Blessings.

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  24. Thank you so much for your bravery and telling your story. Yes, you are so worth it all, even to blood shed for you on the cross. I have someone very dear to me who went through similar things and faced such horrid things when she divorced and remarried but God has blessed her since and as she heals from the abuse I see more and more the loving kindness of God poured out on her. And you as well. So thankful for you friend.

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