Wednesdays with Women in Kidmin is about bringing together some of the leading
women in children's ministry to share their knowledge and passion.
For us to gather and learn from each other...to sharpen each other.
As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 27:17
Being a Life Long Learner
- Kelli Espiritu
Entering into my 21st year in Kid’s Ministry serving at the same church, I realize that I am an anomaly. Webster’s defines anomaly as, “Deviation or departure from the normal or common order, form, or rule.”
Being a Life Long Learner
- Kelli Espiritu
Entering into my 21st year in Kid’s Ministry serving at the same church, I realize that I am an anomaly. Webster’s defines anomaly as, “Deviation or departure from the normal or common order, form, or rule.”
According to Francis A. Schaeffer
Institute of Church Leadership Development (FASICLD) “Most statistics say
that 60% to 80% of those who enter the ministry will not still be in it 10
years later, and only a fraction will stay in it as a lifetime career.”
I read that shaking my head and praising the name of Jesus that He allows
some of us to serve in ministry for longer that the average church leader.
Having two decades under my belt in ministry I owe my longevity to a God
given “life long learner” attitude. You
know that feeling, “I don’t need to
attend another conference” or when you would rather skip sitting in on a sermon
and sit in your office and work on a Sunday morning? That is when it is time to stop, drop, pray
and repent. Ministry is not always what
it is cracked up to be. Like anything
else in life, ministry has it’s ups and downs, but we need to take the
initiative to feed our souls and develop our leadership skills. For example, your teeth would rot if you did
not take the initiative to call the dentist and make an appointment for a check
up. Your soul will rot if you do not
take the time to learn about the character of our Lord and how to become the
leader He created you to be. Eric
Hoffner wrote, “The day you stop learning is the day you'll wake up to world
you know longer recognize.” Harsh analogy, but I hope you get the point. Here are some things that have helped me
survive and thrive in my 21 years of serving kids and families.
1. Have a “Senior Saint” in your life for guidance and
accountability.
I define a Senior Saint as
someone you look up to as a mentor or coach.
The Bible gives us the example of Paul and Timothy. Bingo! I have a few Senior Saints in my life that I go to for an objective
point of view and I value their years of wisdom, their transparency and no
filter look at life. Quite frankly they
tell me what I need to hear; not what I want to hear. And that is exactly what I need! I have stayed the night at their house. I have had long phone conversations. I have even communicated via text. It does
not matter the means of the communication, just be sure to communicate
regularly and be open to their exhortation, guidance and encouragement.
As you read this, I hope the name of a potential Senior Saint popped up in
your head. Pray and present them before
the Lord. You may not have a clue as to
whom would be the Senior Saint in your life. No worries. Jesus knows who they are. Pray that you recognize and ask for eyes to
see that person the Lord is sending you. The Lord will answer...I promise.
2.
Meet weekly with your Senior Pastor or the person you report to.
To survive and thrive in
leadership, it is vital to receive feedback. Think of why sports teams have statistics. It is a form of measurement. It gages improvement and it exposes the weak
areas. Isn’t it healthy and beneficial
to know what you need to work on? Just
like you make an appointment for a check up at the doctors office, think of
your meeting with your superior as ministry check up. The meeting can be 10
minutes or an hour. Share what you’re
working on or the vision the Lord has placed on your heart. Ask how to best handle the difficult
situations that have or will inevitably come your way. In the coming months your superior will get to
know you as a person and be a witness to your passion and love for the
Lord. A healthy working relationship is
the target and spending time together is a sure way to develop that in the life
of a staff.
3. Do not exclusively surround
yourself will people that you like.
I learned to surround myself
with people that will help achieve the goal of our Kid’s Ministry, not
necessarily people I like to hang out with. That’s harsh, but I amm speaking truth. God has gifted everyone with individual gifts and talents. Our focus is to be about the Lord’s
plans. At times He takes us out of our
comfort zones. That may mean you'll need
to be around people that rub you the wrong way. Implementing this into my meetings and ministry has been refreshing and
has helped me develop an open mind to thoughts and ideas I would have never
engaged or experienced. I found that God
uses these people and if I prefer them over me, there's a blessing in it. God always gets the glory because if it were
up to me, I probably would not have spent time with the “Debbie Downers” or the
“We've always done it this way Wilmas.” If we surround ourselves only with “yes
men” or “yes women” we will become our biggest fan! No Bueno! Danger! Danger! This took me years to understand, but it has
proven to benefit Kid's ministry and our church family. Even though we are in charge, the reality is
ministry is not about you!
4. Journal and have a consistent prayer life
For some of you, writing is a chore
and you'd rather clean a fish aquarium than sit down, organize your thoughts
and write about them. I was so that
person hook, line and sinker! However,
the Lord allowed a life storm to sweep over me and writing in my journal became
a way of releasing all the stress and worry that accompanies trials and
testing. I'd pray and then journal and I
found I developed a routine that taught me the much needed discipline I was
lacking in my walk with Christ. Whether
you experience a bump in the road or not, I have found healing and a surprising
relief from pain when I write out my feelings. I now clearly see were I was and where the Lord has brought me! Wow! Can you say God Moment? To
see his faithfulness to me and recognize how He sheltered me through a life
storm has brought me the one thing the people I serve need, and that's HOPE! Ministry has it's stressful situations and we
as leaders should aspire to be healthy. Our prayer life should be the number one priority. Our prayer life is our lifeline.
5. Be mindful of what influences
you.
In the 90's I didn't have a clue what a “blog” was and social media wasn't
invented. (Yes...there was life before
technology and yes, I am really that old.) I look back on my early years of
ministry and wonder what was influencing me? Now a days, I read blogs, scroll through Group's “Inside Track” facebook
posts, and google topics I'm interested in. Back then, my influences were books, relationships and conferences. It was beneficial but it lacked the instant
feedback that all of us glean from today. I also recognize today the many “consultants” and Kid Director's out
there that offer help and ideas. Many
have blogs and websites that ministry newbies flock to. As I started following these people on Twitter,
Instagram and Facebook it was neat to see their lives lived out, or witness
what they wanted the world to see, on my computer screen and phone. At conferences that I attend and teach at,
I'd recognize a name and take their workshop, giddy, excited and waiting to
hear and learn. After all, there's some sort of a connection as we tweet,
follow and post. Especially when they
would recognize me from a conversation we had on Facebook. Most of those speaking on the conference
circuit currently are legit and some are my dear friends. Here comes the “but.” But what I found was, due to self promotion,
number of followers and ever present posts on social media, I began to prefer
their ideas without digging in to see what these men and women really believed
in. I got caught up in seeing them as a
celebrity and hanging on to their every word and idea. If they had all these followers and have
been blogging since 2001, I thought these guys and gals are experts! This is what I found to be true. Just because one is a great writer, doesn't
make one a great workshop presenter or
teacher. I sat in some workshops with high expectations and was
disappointed by the celebrity I created in my mind. The most crucial revelation I found was
this. Some of these guys and gals have
totally opposite beliefs than me and the word of God. In fact, so much so,
knowing what they believe, I wouldn't allow them to serve in Sunday school
without spending time with them and praying about how they interpret God's
word. So all that said to say this. Be mindful and pray for discernment of what
influences you as a child of God and leader in ministry. Pray for the Lord to bring you influencers
that He wants to use in your life.
Since 1991, Kelli Espiritu, aka
Miss Kelli, has been serving children
and their families at Calvary Chapel Bakersfield in Bakersfield Ca. She is known as an advocate for Kid Ministry
and walks in God given confidence of her calling of serving kids and their
families.
In addition to her
responsibilities at church, Kelli has been the featured speaker for numerous
local, regional, and nation wide conferences. Her workshop topics include:
Defining Kids of 2012, Parenting, Volunteer Recruitment, Pit to the Palace
Transformation through Trials, Resolving Church Conflict, and Leadership
Development for the 21st Century. Her diverse experiences in ministry have made
it possible for her to connect with children’s workers and audiences ranging
from volunteer teams, parents, church staff to church leaders.
Kelli has been
published in Group’s Children’s Ministry Magazine July/Aug 2010 edition
and in Nov/Dec 2009 edition. With her
driven personality and motivated “can do” attitude, Kelli serves as a Christian
Ministries Training Association board member. She also is on the CYLMC planning committee for Calvary Chapel and is on
an Inside Track team for Group’s KidsMin Children’s Conference. She has traveled with Mary Rice Hopkins and
was a part of a first ever reGroup seminar in Loveland, Colorado in March of
2010.
Kelli and her husband
Ernie reside in Bakersfield, Ca. and have 3 children, Ilyssa, Jordan and
Kiani. She is their number one
cheerleader supporting Ilyssa’s collegiate soccer career at The Master’s
College, Jordan’s Chamber Choir at CSUB, and Kiani’s ASB, tennis and basketball
events at Stockdlae High School. She is
part of the Varsity Softball coaching staff, while in her 4th year serving as
the parent club President for Stockdale High’s POSSE.
Your post reminds me of the 7 years my husband & I served in Children's Ministry! Such useful tips! Great resource! Thanks for sharing! Thanks also for your link-up to UNITE on Tuesday! Hope to see you again next week! ~ jen
ReplyDeleteI've been serving in Children's Ministries at my church for over 17 years. When we planted the church over 17 years ago, I was Nursery Coordinator and missed church for nearly a year! Now, I serve as Preschool teacher and serve as the admin to the Children's Pastor (as well as admin to the Senior Pastor). You've given some great tips for those involved in ministry!
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