Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Submit Isn't a Dirty Word



As the church submits to Christ,
so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:24

Somewhere along the way submit became a word that causes a strong reaction in people. From cringing at the mention of it to rebelling at the expectation of it.
For the longest time I was one of those people.

I came to my marriage with some serious baggage.
Years before I had been married to a man who abused me with both his fists and his words. Submit took on new meaning in that marriage. It became a word that meant to cower in fear, to take whatever was dished out, and to be slave to a cruel master. This is the large suitcase I brought with me when I remarried years later.

In the last 20 years God has healed my heart and done a great work in me when it comes to being a wife. I went from a wife holding tight to my independence and fighting hard against the leadership of my husband to a wife who has learned to trust my husband and welcome that leadership.
It really all comes down to trust.
Knowing that my husband seeks God's direction in everything and has our family's best interests at heart.
Knowing that marriage is a partnership and not a dictatorship.

I love The Message translation of this scripture.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Ephesians 5:22-24

Submitting to my husband doesn't mean being dominated by him,
but means being cherished by him.
Submit isn't a dirty word anymore.


35 comments:

  1. I love this post. Dovetails nicely with what I wrote about yesterday. I am so glad that God gives us grace to submit to these wonderful men!

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    1. Thanks so much friend! Yes godly men are such a gift! Blessings!

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  2. Thanks for sharing your very vulnerable story, Wendy. I'm just glad that you were blessed with a man who "loves you like Christ loves the church." Great post!

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    1. Thanks Beth! I am so thankful for the man God has given me. He is such a blessing! Have a wonderful day!

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  3. I like this post. How do you think you should go about submitting when you definitely don't feel cherished?

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    1. Thanks Holly. I think that maybe the best thing to do if you are a wife not feeling cherished is to have a conversation with your husband sharing with him why you feel that way. Communication is definitely key in marriage. I also believe that there is so much power in prayer...share these feelings with God. Blessings to you today!

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  4. Thank you for sharing...I praise the Lord for He has blessed you with a good husband and with the opportunity to experience real love and to find out that submission doesn't have to be a "dirty word," anymore. God doesn't want us to be slaves to anything but to Him. He doesn't want us in abusive relationships, and you are right, it all comes down to trust. There has to be good will between spouses for the love-respect cycle not to be broken...thank you again for your post. Blessings to you always.

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    1. Thanks my sweet friend! I am so incredibly blessed to have such a fantastic husband who has helped to show me what real love is. Blessings!

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  5. Glad your wrote this post, because you are a good spokesperson, who has experienced the way the word "submit" can be abused, along with the submitter. Obviously your first husband was not submitting to Christ himself, and that submission is for everyone. The picture of Christ and the church that He means marriage to display is such an important one. How sad that in our increasingly wayward world that picture is getting so marred, from both sides, that it makes submit into a dirty word. Oh for more marriages that genuinely portray it!

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    1. Thanks Sylvia! You know the truth is that I was just a guilty of not being submitted to Christ in my first marriage. I didn't seek Him out when making the decision to get married. I just jumped in thinking that I could change this man who was abusive while we were dating. I believed that lie that I had the power to change him when really only God can change a person's heart. I am so thankful that He brought me through that nightmare and blessed me with the man I am married to today. Blessings friend!

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  6. This is awesome! And a really true understanding of the word 'submit' in that verse--it's connected to trust, that's for sure, and it is part of God's plan for a healthy marriage.

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    1. Thanks Rachel! Yes so much of submission is all about trust. Especially submitting to God. Blessings!

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  7. Thanks for linking up with us for Wonderful Wednesdays!

    Rachel

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    1. Thanks Rachel! So blessed to connect with you all! Have a wonderful day!

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  8. Hello!

    stopping by from the blog hop :) your newest follower!! hope to hear from you soon!

    xoxo - kylie
    www.kandcamera.com

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    1. Thanks so much Kylie! So blessed to connect with you and looking forward to getting to know you! Blessings!

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  9. I love this!! What a GREAT reminder. I was in the same boat as far as coming into marriage super proud to be so independent. I felt I didn't "need" a man and so I didn't understand the "submission" part of being a wife at all. The idea irked me a bit honestly. BUT, now I understand!!! There is FREEDOM in REAL submission!

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    1. Oh Kelly...me too sister! I came into my marriage thinking that never again would I put myself in a place where a man ruled over me. I couldn't have been more wrong about what marriage is about and am so thankful that He taught me that it is about trust and being charished. Blessings to you today friend!

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  10. Thanks for a lovely reminder of the beauty of submission. Of course, the challenge comes when we don't feel cherished by our husbands -- yet we're called to submit anyway!

    I've been thinking on this topic myself lately... am I adorning God's truth by submitting? If I'm not, what are the ramifications for my family and the world around me? (wrote about this here: http://princapecos.blogspot.com/2012/08/adorning-gods-truth-as-wife.html)

    So glad to have come across your blog. We're partying at some of the same places this week!

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    1. That is a challenge for sure. At that point I would say communication is key. Letting him (and Him) know how we are feeling. So blessed to connect with you and looking forward to getting to know you more! Blessings!

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  11. This is so very true! Coming from a similar background that you mentioned, I too had to learn how to submit to my husband, God's way. It is so much different! Thank you for sharing and linking up at Simply Helping Him! Blessings!

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  12. I agree with you, Wendy. When Mr. E. and I wrote our vows we specifically included that I vowed to submit to him. It was a hard vow to make - because I'm very strong willed. But Mr. E. takes his role of loving me sacrificially very seriously. He makes it easy to submit. :) And really, it's a mutual submission. It works.

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    1. Oh Amanda...that is so true about mutual submission. It is the heartbeat of the partnership of marriage. To serve each other. I struggled with it as well. That whole "you're not the boss of me" attitude, but am so thankful that God worked on my heart. I think your warrior and mine would get along very well friend. Blessings to you!

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  13. You are so right! It's easier to submit when we can trust our spouse--when they are fulfilling their God-ordained role of loving as Christ loves and leading. Thanks for sharing your story. It's so important for people to understand that submit isn't a dirty word when use in the context God designed for it.

    Thanks for sharing so faithfully at WIP!

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    1. Thanks so much Mary Beth! I so enjoy reading what everyone shares each week! Blessings!

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  14. What a wonderful testimony! Thanks for linking up today!

    Elizabeth@Warrior Wives
    www.thewarriorwives.com

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    1. Thanks so much Elizabeth! Blessed to connect with you all! Have a wonderful day!

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  15. So nice to read this. "submit" is so misunderstood. So glad you are in a loving relationship now!

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    1. Thanks Mare! That is so true. Submit has become a word that people resist. Thankful for the wonderful man God brought into my life to change that. Blessings!

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  16. Wonderful post. A great reminder for everyone. It is such a misunderstood definition. It's not scary at all!! Thanks for linking up!!

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    1. Thanks so much Kelly! So true...too often misunderstood. Blessing to connect with you all!

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