As the church submits to Christ,
so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
Somewhere along the way submit became a word that causes a strong reaction in people. From cringing at the mention of it to rebelling at the expectation of it.
For the longest time I was one of those people.
I came to my marriage with some serious baggage.
Years before I had been married to a man who abused me with both his fists and his words. Submit took on new meaning in that marriage. It became a word that meant to cower in fear, to take whatever was dished out, and to be slave to a cruel master. This is the large suitcase I brought with me when I remarried years later.
In the last 20 years God has healed my heart and done a great work in me when it comes to being a wife. I went from a wife holding tight to my independence and fighting hard against the leadership of my husband to a wife who has learned to trust my husband and welcome that leadership.
It really all comes down to trust.
Knowing that my husband seeks God's direction in everything and has our family's best interests at heart.
Knowing that marriage is a partnership and not a dictatorship.
I love The Message translation of this scripture.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Submitting to my husband doesn't mean being dominated by him,
but means being cherished by him.
Submit isn't a dirty word anymore.