Friday Five - Family

Today's Friday Five is all about FAMILY!

Mom's here for a visit.

An Often Overlooked Opportunity

I absolutely love that there are men who gather to learn together and encourage each other, but I think that there is an opportunity for men's ministry that is often overlooked. This is the opportunity to come alongside the next generation and pour into the fatherless children in our churches.

John Sowers shares in his book Fatherless Generation that fatherlessness accounts for:

• 63 percent of youth suicides

• 71 percent of pregnant teenagers

• 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children

• 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions

• 85 percent of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders

•80 percent of rapists motivated with displaced anger

• 71 percent of all high school dropouts

• 75 percent of all adolescents in chemical abuse centers

• 85 percent of all youths sitting in prison

 

John also shares these statistics:

 

Children with mentors are 46 percent less likely to do drugs, 33 percent less likely to resort in violence, 53 percent less likely to drop out of school, and 59 percent more likely to improve their grades. One-to-one mentoring has also been shown to lower the rates of teen pregnancy, suicide, and gang involvement in communities.

I believe that the men in our churches can change the future of our next generation by intentionally mentoring these children.

 

The Three P’s of Leading a Small Group

Leading a small group is one way that you can serve in children’s ministry. Small groups may look different in your church, but three basics will apply to small groups regardless of where you are.  

I call them the “Three P’s of Leading a Small Group.”  

They are:

Prayer

Prayer is so important. You need to be in prayer for your kids, your pastor, and your team. You need to be in prayer over the entire service – inviting the Holy Spirit in. You want to pray for any first time visitors and families who will be coming through your doors for the first time.   In short, you should be in consistent prayer for the kids who are already in the ministry and those who will be coming.

Preparation

Preparing for each week is essential to leading a small group. You will need to be familiar with all aspects of the service – from worship to the lesson to your small group activities and discussions. God will use any or every part of the service to impact a child who will be in your small group. You want to be prepared to lead the discussion and answer any questions that might come up. Don’t think you have to have all the answers though. Be honest with the child that asks a question that you dont know the answer to. Let them know that you aren’t sure of the answer, but you will try to find it out to share with them next week.

Prayer

Yes I am including prayer twice. It is that important! Once you have the service plan, you will want to pray for the Holy Spirit to empower you in teaching and leading the kids in discussion. You will want to pray for the teacher who is sharing the main points in large group. You will want to pray for the other leaders on your team as well. Then you want to pray for the kids to have open ears and hearts to hear what they are being taught. You will also want to pray for the families of the children that you have in your small group. You want to pray for opportunities for them to have conversations about what the kids have learned that week.

The 3 P’s are essential in leading any small group. Incorporate prayer, preparation and more prayer into your small group plan, and you will find that they might just be the keys that open up eternity to your kids.

Missions Monday

It's time for Missions Monday.

Every Monday I will introduce you to some great charities that you can get involved in. When I say get involved, I mean you can donate your money, time, and/or pray for these organizations who are doing amazing things to help people.

Today I would like to introduce you to

GEMS.

From the website:

"Girls Educational & Mentoring Services (GEMS) is the only organization in New York State specifically designed to serve girls and young women who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking.

Girls Educational and Mentoring Services’ (GEMS) mission is to empower girls and young women, ages 12–24, who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking to exit the commercial sex industry and develop to their full potential. GEMS is committed to ending commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking of children by changing individual lives, transforming public perception, and revolutionizing the systems and policies that impact sexually exploited youth."

You can learn more about this organization and how you can get involved by visiting their website here:

GEMS - Website.

You can also connect with them on Facebook here:

GEMS - Facebook

and follow them on Twitter here:

GEMS - Twitter.

Being a Mentor

I am a firm believer in both having a mentor and being one as well. I think we should all have a Paul and Timothy in our lives.

For the last year I have been mentoring a couple of girls and it has been such a wonderful beginning in our journey together.

Here is what it looks like:

• They have complete access to me which means they have both my home and cellphone numbers which they can use at any time to call or text.
• We talk on a weekly basis about everything from family to school to faith. This is usually a phone call but once in awhile it will be in person.
• I commit to praying for them daily. They will share prayer requests during our conversations or ones they send randomly throughout the week.
• We have a date day or night every month. I will usually let them pick what they would like to do during this time together.
• We commit to do a Bible reading plan together. This may be one chosen from YouVersion or a special Bible study.

Mentoring for me is also a partnership with parents and the opportunity to be someone to come alongside them as an additional voice in their daughter's life. In order to do this, communication with the parents of the girls that I mentor is necessary, so I will have conversations with them on a regular basis.

I can't even tell you what a blessing it has been to be a part of these girls' lives. Over the past year we have laughed and cried together. We have learned so much and prayed big prayers together. We have had such a blast together and I so look forward to what God has in store for us in the years to come together.

What I'm Reading

LOVE this book! 

The Cause Within You by Matthew Barnett.

From the cover:


"You were created for something amazing . . . and it’s time to discover what it is!



Matthew Barnett, son of megachurch pastor Tommy Barnett, discovered the cause he was made for when he relinquished his dreams of success and began listening for God’s dream for his life instead. When he sensed that God was calling him to serve the poor and powerless, Matthew founded the Dream Center in Los Angeles, a beacon of hope for homeless families, addicts, abused women and children, victims of human trafficking, teen runaways, and many others whose lives are filled with brokenness.

Through his own story and the stories of others whose lives have been transformed, Matthew Barnett points the way for anyone searching for hope that God created them for a great cause—and that He can use all their life experiences, even the most difficult, to fulfill it. Along the way, he shares principles for:


Finding the cause you were made for—and letting your cause find you


Preparing for your cause


Believing in a cause again after being burned or burned out


Experiencing the rewards of a great cause"

This is a book that will not only inspire you to do more for others, but will also remind you why you should do so. This book isn't just about the birth of a church, but a world-wide revolution to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

This is one of my top book recommend this year.

You can read more about the book, Matthew, and the Dream Center here:

http://www.thecausewithinyou.com/.

What are you reading right now?

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision's 16 CFR, Part 255" "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."




What I'm Reading

I just finished reading Indelible by Kristen Heitzmann.

Here is the summary of the book from the back cover:

"Rescuing a toddler from the jaws of a mountain lion, Trevor MacDaniel, a high-country outfitter, sets in motion events he can’t foresee. His act of bravery entwines his life with gifted sculptor Natalie Reeve—and attracts a grim admirer.

Trevor’s need to guard and protect is born of tragedy, prompting his decision to become a search and rescue volunteer. Natalie’s gift of sculpting comes from an unusual disability that seeks release through her creative hands. In each other they see strength and courage as they face an incomprehensible foe.

When a troubled soul views Trevor as archangel and adversary, Redford’s peaceful mountain community is threatened. Together with Police Chief Jonah Westfall, Trevor presses his limits to combat the menace who targets the most helpless and innocent."

There are so many things that I enjoyed about this book. I loved Natalie and Trevor and how their lives connected. I loved how Trevor helped her nephew face his fear after the attack and encouraged him in climbing and skiing as well. I loved Fleur and so wished I could see her paintings as well as Natalie's sculptures.

This book would be a fantastic summer read. The is a wonderful story of relationships with a suspence twist.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

What I'm Listening To

Loving Izzi Ray!

Her debut album is available on iTunes here:
Izzi Ray - iTunes.


Here are a few songs from the album:





Washing Feet Every Day

I was thinking of all the miracles that Jesus performed while He was here on earth. I love teaching the kids about those times that Jesus WOWed the crowd. But I was thinking what impacted me most as I read the Gospels. It was the night that Jesus washed His disciples feet. What love and tenderness He showed these men by doing the simplest gesture - washing their feet.

Having loved His own who were in the world, He now showed them the full extent of His love. John 13:1b

I was thinking would I be like Peter and think I was not worthy to have my Savior wash my feet? I love Peter's response when Jesus said that if he didn't allow him to wash his feet then he couldn't be with him. Peter said to not only wash his feet, but his hands and head as well.

Jesus said, "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you should also wash one another's feet. I have set an example that you should do as I have done for you."

John 13:14-15

I may not be washing the feet of everyone I meet, but how do I show love and compassion to them every day? Do I show the full extent of my love for people in everything I do and say?

How are you loving on the people around you?

Blessings,

Where Everyone Knows Your Name

Learning the names of the kids in our children’s ministry seems like an impossible task, but is an important part of what we do. For some remembering names will come easy and for others it takes more effort. Greeting a child by name is a way to communicate welcome and value to the kids and families we serve each week.

Here are just a few ideas on ways to help you learn and remember names:

◦Make sure nametags are clearly visible – the more you see something, the easier it will be to remember

◦Call the kids by name as much as possible – the more you say something, the easier it will be to remember

◦Do handwritten notes on a regular basis – the more you write something, the easier it will be to remember

One of the things that I do to help me learn and remember the names of our Kidzplayce kids is to keep a running list of them to pray for by name on a weekly basis. What kinds of things do you do to learn and remember names in your children’s ministry?

Missions Monday

It's time for Missions Monday.

Every Monday I will introduce you to some great charities that you can get involved in. When I say get involved, I mean you can donate your money, time, and/or pray for these organizations who are doing amazing things to help people.

Today I would like to re-introduce you to

The A21 Campaign.

From the website:

"The A21 Campaign is comprised of individuals, organizations, government officials, and people like you who are committed to abolishing injustice in the 21st century. Our goal is to raise awareness, take legal action where appropriate, and offer rehabilitation services to rescued victims of human trafficking in order to fight this injustice from a comprehensive approach. Additionally, we want to branch out to address this issue from a preventative standpoint, aiming to cripple the human trafficking trade so there are fewer victims that need to be rescued."

Statistics

•Trafficking in women is the second largest global organized crime today, generating approximately US$12 billion a year.

•There are 1.39 million victims of commercial sexual servitude worldwide.

•Tragically, only 1-2 percent of victims are rescued, and only 1 in 100,000 Europeans involved in trafficking are convicted.

There are many ways that you can get involved. In fact the A21 website lists out 21 ways you can help on their website here:

The A21 Campaign - 21 Ways to Help

You can connect with A21 on Facebook here:

The A21 Campaign - Facebook

and you can follow them in Twitter here:

The A21 Campaign - Twitter.

Friday Five

Here are the five books I am reading right now:

What are you reading right now?





Kids Just Believe

One of the things I love about serving with children is that they just believe.

When you tell them the story of Jonah they don't doubt that it happened. They don't analyze how it could've happened. They just believe. Now they might ask how big the fish was or what Jonah ate while he was in the fish, but very rarely will they question how it was possible.

The same goes for when you tell them the other stories in the Bible, from Noah and the ark to Jesus healing the blind with spit and dirt. They don't question how. They just believe.

I was thinking about this driving home from church this past Sunday after hearing the prayers of my small group girls. One of my girls prayed this prayer...

"Jesus give me the words & help me be brave to tell my grandpa about you. I want him to love you too."

She really believes that God will place the exact words in her mouth and will place in her the courage to share Jesus with someone she loves. Then there are the prayer requests for healing they whisper during this time and I am humbled at the belief that resonates through their words. They just believe.

We adults can learn so much from the faith of our children. Praying prayers that are bold and full of belief. Standing on the promises that God gives in His word.
To just believe.

At about the same time, the disciples came to Jesus asking, "Who gets the highest rank in God's kingdom?"

For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me.

Matthew 18:1-5

So You're a Small Group Leader

So you’ve signed on to be a small group leader in children’s ministry. You’ve met with your director and know the expectations and basics for service on Sunday. They’ve shared the vision for the ministry and what the lesson will be for the series coming up. You have your t-shirt and are ready to serve next weekend.

Then it hits you…the kids might ask you questions…questions you might not know the answers to!

First of all, don’t panic. You don’t have to know all the answers.

Second, I would like to share some resources that will help you feel more comfortable answering these questions and researching when you aren’t sure of the answers in the moment when a child might ask.

When it comes to questions about salvation and being able to communicate it on a child’s level, the best book I have read to date is “Leading Kids to Jesus” by David Staal. The author explains that you will need to use child friendly words in communicating with kids. For example using the phrase “asking Jesus into your heart” might confuse a younger child as they try to figure out how Jesus could fit into such a small space. The author talks about various topics from sharing your testimony to answering questions about faith. This is a valuable resource for anyone serving as a small group leader.

Another great book to reference is “The Holman Bible Concordance for Kids.” This book lists words from the Bible in alphabetical order with simple definitions and shows the scripture verses where those words are used. You can bring this to your small group to use when those questions come up or even allow the kids to look up the answers.

Another way to find answers to the questions your small group kids might ask is to find a book all about the questions they might ask. Two of the ones that I use regularly are “801 Questions Kids Ask About God” by Focus on the Family and “If I Could Ask God Anything” by Kathryn Slattery. Both books list the question, give the answer, and reference the scripture to back up that answer.

Lastly I want to reassure you that no one is expecting you to know all the answers to every question that your small group kids will ask. Be as prepared for the lesson as you can be and when in doubt tell the child you will find out that answer for next week.

Get ready for the most rewarding and challenging experience you will have in your lifetime. You are getting ready to build a relationship with your small group kids that will give you an opportunity to love on them and share God’s Word with them.

Praying God blesses you and your small group kids!

Missions Monday

It's time for Missions Monday.

Every Monday I will introduce you to some great charities that you can get involved in. When I say get involved, I mean you can donate your money, time, and/or pray for these organizations who are doing amazing things to help people.

Today I would like to introduce you to

Breakaway Outreach.

From the website:

"Our MISSION is to turn the tide of delinquency and poverty one child at a time by empowering young people with the life-giving message of Jesus Christ. 

Our VISION is that every young person has the opportunity to hear and respond to the Gospel, that they are afforded resources for holistic growth, and that they discover transformational mentoring relationships that help them become responsible contributors to society.

Some of our programs include neighborhood outreach to low-income families, after school programs, mentoring initiatives, summer camp for prisoners' children, adventure retreats for inner-city children, juvenile detention center ministry, and urban outreach."

You can learn more about this organization and how you can get involved by visiting their website here:

Breakaway Outreach - Website.

You can connect with them on Facebook here:

Breakaway Outreach - Facebook

and follow them on Twitter here:

Breakaway Outreach - Twitter.

His Romance

When my oldest son was in the 6th grade, he began his romance with God. It may seem strange to attach romance to his relationship, but he showed all of the symptoms of love. He wanted to talk about God all the time. He wanted to spend all of his free time with God. He even carried his Bible with him everywhere. He took it to school so he could read after he was done with school work and during lunch. He took it to football games so he could read it there too. He was falling head over heels in love with God and His word.

It wasn't just about reading God's word for him though. He began to tell his friends about God. Sharing God's love with the kids who some would say were unloveable. He was given the nickname "Preacher" by the kids at school that year and wore that badge of love proudly.

Then something changed. There was a group of boys that began to bully him. They made fun of him for carrying his Bible everywhere. "Preacher" became a taunt instead of a compliment. The group bullying him about his romance became larger, even including a teacher that threatened him with suspension if he ever read his Bible in her class again.

I witnessed my son's heart break for the first time that year. My words of encouragement fell flat as the voices at school became louder than mine. He stopped bringing his Bible to school. He stopped taking it everywhere. He wasn't talking much about his romance anymore and the signs of love were gone. Instead a broken heart was visible and leaking with pain. And I didn't know how to make it all better. This was bigger than a scraped knee. So I began to pray for his romance.

My AJ will be a Junior in high school this coming year. This past year was a time of growth for him in his faith. Slowly I began to see those signs of love again, but a more seasoned love. A love that comes out of heartache. A love fragile at first but stunningly beautiful all the same.

He began to talk about God and spend more time with Him. He began sharing with friends about his romance and that God loves them too.

Then came the day. The day I knew that God had healed his broken heart and my prayers had been answered.

He brought his Bible to school.

 



Beauty in the Broken Pieces

As I sat across the table from her listening to her story, a voice inside me was crying out, "I know you!" Truth is I was her and am her sometimes even now. She shared the pain of not feeling valued. Oh how I know her. Our stories aren't the same, but the heartache is.

When I was in the 8th grade, my parents separated. I remember the day that I came home from school to find my dad sitting on the couch waiting for me with his suitcase on the floor beside him. He told me about his plans to go, but all I could hear in my head was "I am leaving you." I begged him to take me with him. I remember the pain of him walking out the door and the shatter of my heart into tiny pieces when he drove away.

What followed after that moment was many years of searching. I had an empty space in my soul that longed for someone to make me feel less broken. To make me feel cherished. To make me feel loved.

To give me value.

Part of my struggle was reconciling God as Father. You see even as an adult, I was convinced that there was no way that God could love me with an unconditional love. That seed of doubt was planted when my father left me broken as a child. If he could leave, then there is nothing unconditional about fatherly love. I couldn't take the rejection from God too. So I kept Him at arms length for a long time.

Something changed for me the first time I heard someone call Him "Abba." It means Daddy. I remembered the feelings attached to that word. I remembered the love attached to that word. That I wanted. More than anything. That.

Daddy.

Abba.

I can't tell you the exact moment that God started placing the pieces of my heart together. I can tell you that I even broke those pieces into smaller ones with some of the choices I made during that search. I can tell you that I still had missing pieces when I got married. I still have some today.

The more time I spend with Him, the more my heart heals. You can still see some of the breaks, but there is a beauty in those fractures too. It's in the midst of the breaks that you can actually see the healing. You can see the loving hands that put them together again. 

I am reminded by those broken pieces put back in place that I am valued.

So as I sit across from her as she shares her broken pieces, I can tell her that healing is possible. That there is only one place to find that which she seeks.

In Him.

Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.
Isaiah 43:4

Making the Most of Drive Time

Families today are busier than ever before. Between work, school, church, and any extracurricular activities finding time to connect can be a challenge. One thing that we can do as parents is make the most of our drive time. We drive to school, to the store, to games and recitals, and many other places during the day. There are many ways to make the most of this time. After all we have a captive audience (my boys have yet to jump out of the car LOL) with minimal distractions that are faced in other places.

Here are a few things you can start doing during your drive time:

• Worship together - put in a CD and get your praise on
• Talk about the day - chat previous day's events and what's happening today
• Do devotions - talk about the Bible and how it applies to everday life

We, as parents, need to make the most of every moment. There are so many voices that our children are hearing every day and we want ours to be the loudest and most consistant. Doing these things during drive time is just one more opportunity we have to connect with our kids.

Tuesday Tunes

Singing songs is a fantastic way for kids to learn and remember scripture.

Here are a few songs that will help do that during worship in children's ministry and at home.



Missions Monday

It's time for Missions Monday.

Every Monday I will introduce you to some great charities that you can get involved in. When I say get involved, I mean you can donate your money, time, and/or pray for these organizations who are doing amazing things to help people.

Today I would like to introduce you to

The Mentoring Project.

The Mentoring Project inspires and equips faith communities to mentor fatherless boys.

Here is a wonderful video to share the vision of The Mentoring Project:

The Mentoring Project is doing something different for Father's Day. You have an opportunity to celebrate your Dad by making a donation that will help recruit and equip mentors all over the country.

Visit Don't Buy the Tie to help make a difference in the life a fatherless boy. 

You can learn more about this organization and how you can get involved by visiting their website here:

The Mentoring Project - Website.

You can connect with them on Facebook here:

The Mentoring Project - Facebook

and you can follow them on Twitter here:

The Mentoring Project - Twitter.

An Invitation to Just Be

I sit on a bench across the way from them. Two of the men in my life...big and little. One cutting branches and the other putting them in a pile. I hear my little man telling grand stories of previous days and my warrior listening and asking him to share more. D looks across the way and gives me a smile and a little nod. He knows. This moment in time is so special. It's theirs. All theirs. It isn't about a teaching moment or imparting this great wisdom. It is all about just being together. That in itself is the miracle. Our little man is helping daddy. They are working together. But even more than all that, they are just being together. Laughing. Smiling. Talking. All the while moving in this rhythm that is all about them. It is so beautiful. My two men sharing this moment. The precious moment.

As I sit taking in this moment, I hear this whisper speak to my heart,

"This is what it is like when we are together, my daughter."

Then the tears begin to flow.

He invites me to just be.

Be with Him.